Beds Clad in Underwear

Me: Hop into bed Garrett and I'll tuck you in.

Garrett: But my bed's naked.

Bryson: No Garrett, it's not naked, it just has underwear on.

Garrett: My bed doesn't wear underwear!

Bryson: No, sheets are your bed's underwear.

Garrett: Oh.
(long pause as I cover him up with his blankets)
I'm glad my bed's not naked. Just wearing "shits" for underwear.

Me: (laughing all the way up the stairs)

We're ALIVE!

Halleluiah! We are all living and breathing and not SICK. Mostly not sick. Well, kind of not sick. All right, we still have colds and half of the family hacks their lungs out every morning (which is just sooo gross to a gagger like me); but we aren't running for the bathroom every 10 minutes, and no fevers, and with the younger half on antibiotics I have high hopes that by Christmas we will be fab-u-lous. Pretty sure that if I can't get out of this house by Thursday I am going to go crazy, so we're going to make it work or lie to everybody and say we are better just to get out. :) If I plan on seeing you on Christmas, then just pretend I never said that. We really are doing much better, and no longer contagious. Am I backtracking far enough here? Ah, screw it. Everybody's sick and we are too so whatever.

On to more happier thoughts! I feel like all I've done is play catch up on the blog lately which is not really my favorite way to go about this. Luckily, or unluckily for you, not a whole heck of alot has happened so not much to report. We are alive. We are getting ready for Christmas. I had hoped to be ready by now but with all the sickness and general laziness going on over here, I'm just not quite finished. Almost, but not quite. It would help if I had a really good idea for Travis, but I don't. Any brilliant ideas? Anything? Feel free to post thoughts on something my hubby would enjoy for Christmas. A few rules though. 1. Must be something he can open in front of the children on Christmas morning, i.e. nix the wrap yourself in a red bow idea. While he would enjoy it, and it would be considerably cheaper than just about anything but a candy cane, I do not feel the need to scar my children for life, at least until they are teenagers. 2. Must cost under $50, that's what's left of my budget for him. 3. Must be something I can buy in the next two days so no ordering something from Hong Kong or other place that won't possibly be here by Christmas unless I spend a thousand dollars in shipping. Seriously, any ideas, because I am VERY open to suggestions at this point.

I'm sure I'll think of more to write later, but for now, that's all you get. :)

Ugh

Sorry I haven't been keeping updated on my blog, you bazillions of readers (you know who you are, don't deny it). We've been a bunch of sickies this last week with the flu, and quite frankly, I just don't have the energy. Hopefully later this week I'll feel amazing and have scads of time to post pics, brag about my kids, chat about Christmas shopping (cuz I have some stories to tell), and basically just bore you with our daily lives. Until then, have a fabulous day. :)

Bryson, Bryson, Birthday Boy

Holy cow my baby turned EIGHT today! Well, I guess I can't call Bryson a baby any more, but sometimes it feels like he just was one. sigh. He will be getting baptized the beginning of January, but we are already so proud of him. Bryson is a good student who truly enjoys school and learning. He can be incredibly helpful around the house (especially with Megan who adores him), and loves to be "in charge" (although sometimes too much). We love him and are so thankful to have him in our family.

Here is Bryson blowing out his candles after making his "special secret wish" which he wouldn't tell us about cuz then it won't come true. Abby says he wished for a barbie, which totally made him gag all over the cake (and we truly appreciate that), but we're guessing that he wished for a Wii. Too bad!

Bryson really enjoyed opening his presents. Among them he got a telescope/microscope combo from his Papa & Memaw (Trav's parents) which he loves cuz he is a science guy. We got him his first set of scriptures, since he's eight, with his name on them and a scripture carrier. He didn't seem quite as impressed with those as he was with the toys, but I know he'll enjoy them more in the long run. :)

This is the cake that Bryson requested. He wanted a killer whale cake (someday he plans to be working at Sea World training Shamu), and I'm the one who got to make it. I must say I'm pretty dang proud of myself. It turned out WAY better than I thought it would, and poor Shamu was the first part of the cake to be eaten. Killer whale is yummy....mmmmmmm.

Kid Pics

These pics are just cuz they are cute. :) What can I say?

Here's Megan chatting it up with Papa (Travis' dad) on Bryson's Birthday. She's jabbering at him a bit and trying to get some candy. It worked.

And here are the older three getting a "ride" from dad. Can you see how boisterous dad is? Clearly he is full of energy and enjoying himself. (snicker) Actually, this is picture is after about 15 minutes of Travis giving them rides and he was too pooped to do any more. :)
Ah, notice the kitchen chair in the background. Normally there are two back there covering the buttons to the TV that Megan can not seem to leave alone for more than two minutes. Just our special way of baby-proofing that kinda, sorta, sometimes works. We do what we can.

Megan on the Move aka Houdini or Evel Knievel

This is how it starts at our house. Megan finds the stepstool...

Then she climbs onto the chair (actually, nowadays she skips the stool part and goes straight for the chair)...

Then she is proud as can be as she sits on my table and yells for me to come. Normally when I come in at this point (because it always happens about 2 seconds after I leave the room), she sits up, grins and waves at me while saying "HI!"


She also highly enjoys standing up in her highchair. This is after she undid the child restraints that are supposedly supposed to keep her in. This girl is tenacious and somehow slightly magical as she gets out of just about anything except for her carseat (THANK HEAVENS). It drives us crazy, but we usually can't help but laugh because she is just so darn proud of herself!

My Hubby Tag

I got this off of Kelly & Jaimee's blog and since I try to tag them all the time I feel turn about is fair play. :) Now it's all y'alls turn.

What's your husband's name? Travis H. Oleson (just an intial, no middle name)
How long have you been married? 10 years, 8 months, 12 days
How long did you date? We dated about 4 1/2 months before getting engaged, then 3 more months until we got married
Who said I love you first? He did--totally scared the crap out of me until I realized that I loved him too.
Who asked who out first? Technically? Sigh...it was probably me. I invited him to come with me and some friends to watch fireworks up at the college. But then he asked me out on a date about a week later so officially it was him.
Who kissed who first? He kissed me on the first date. Shame shame shame
How old is he? 35
Who eats the sweets? That would very obviously be me. He likes sweets, but I usually eat it all before he gets very much. I try to convince myself that he prefers it that way.
Who sings best? Hopefully me. Love him to pieces, but let's be honest here. He can't carry a tune or a beat to save his life even though he likes to try and embarass his children while he's doing it.
Who's smarter? when it comes to book stuff, it's probably me, but with general common sense and hands-on stuff it's totally him
Who cooks dinner and does laundry? I usually cook dinner cuz he hates to cook, but he will if I'm not home or if I've had an awful day. And we both do laundry--s0 long as I sort it first.
Who mows the lawn? we fight over who gets to mow the lawn. This summer it was mostly me cuz he was in school, but normally he wins.
Who pays the bills? Usually me, although I try to have most everything automatically taken out so I don't forget.
Who drives? He does, but we are both backseat drivers though and make each other crazy.
Who wears the pants? Bryson thinks it's him, I pretend it's me sometimes, but it's definitely Travis. :)
Our favorite couple thing to do. Watch movies, play with our kids, and try to annoy/embarass each other. And make fun of strangers. I know, we're warped.
His favorite pastimes. Watching TV, playing on the computer, organizing his bazillion tools, and learning new things (which is why he loves school).
What I love most about him. I absolutely love his laugh, he is a wonderful dad, makes me laugh and always cares about what I think. He keeps me sane and helps me not to worry so much, and always kills the bugs even though he rolls his eyes. He is always willing to do anything I ask, and often kicks me out the door so I can get some "Jen time" for a couple of hours. Plus he's cute and has some sexy arm muscles--thought I'd throw that in here to embarass him when he reads this. I can't imagine him not being in my life and I love him.

UPDATES and stuff

I feel very comment-deprived since I haven't updated my blog so here is what's been happening with us. Not near as exciting as my last post, but much less expensive.

OUR VAN
Our van is fixed. YAY!! No, I did not leave the door hanging there as I drove home. Can you imagine me trying to explain that to some cop after it fell off in the middle of the street or while going over the railroad tracks? "Uh...sorry officer...I realize I have three children sitting back here with no seatbelts on and the door hanging off, but I was pretty sure we'd be good until I had to swerve to miss hitting that kid playing on the sidewalk...dang kids...I didn't mean for the door to start a fire and then make the train explode when it flew off my van..." I don't think so. Actually, I'm seriously OCD about the seatbelt thing so that would never happen, but I digress. So my dad came and saved me at the elementary school by jamming the van door back onto the van and then I drove home and we got the van door fixed. Fabulous. It mostly works and that's what we're happy about. Plus, my kids think I am super strong and that is always a bonus when the bickering starts.

THANKSGIVING
We ate. A lot.
We had dinner over at Travis' parents this year with his sister's family as well and had lots of fun joking around, eating as much as we could cram into our pieholes, and watching the kids act like hooligans as they ran all over the house until we kicked them outside. My favorite part was actually watching Megan chase their little dog, Pugsley, around and around the house saying "c'mere!" and then she would try to give him kisses as she tackled him from behind. He wasn't very appreciative but it was funny to us.

We left our camera at their house, didn't even realize it until today when Jan (his mom) emailed me, but when we get it back we actually have some pics to share. :) Hope all of you had a fantastic and filling Thanksgiving!

Van-flippin-tastic

You will never guess what happened to me. Not in a million years. Why? Because normally this sort of thing only happens to people in the movies, cheesey movies, but guess what--I was the lucky winner today. I went to pick up the kids from school after their half-day Friday. There's a long line, which I normally try to avoid by going early but I was late so you know, had to wait and everything. I pull up in front of the school, the kids see me, and run over to the van.

They pile in.

David, who we carpool with, can't get the door closed. I tell him to go ahead and sit down and get his seatbelt on, I'll close it. I take off my seatbelt. I reach behind the passenger seat...ok well I'm too short-armed for that, so I half get out of the driver seat and reach behind the passenger seat to pull the sliding door closed. It's kind of stuck. I get all the way out of my seat and pull a little harder when I hear a snap and then...

The door falls off.

Yup, go ahead and read that last line again because I have almost the entire elementary school as witnesses. The sliding door of my van FALLS OFF. The back bearing popped out, and my door is hanging there, barely, by the little bearing/hinge thing at the top of the door. I'm so stunned I start to laugh. What the He...er, eck? Only to me people. This stuff only happens to me.

I'll keep you posted, and hopefully, take a picture because in this case it really is worth 1000 words.

Trick 'n' Treat, Voting, and other Important Stuff

Yay! We had a very happy Halloween over here. Unfortunately, our camera decided to eat our pictures (we don't know what happened...apparently it's on strike), and my kids were so disappointed that we couldn't "blog their pictures" that we found pics of what they were supposed to be. :) Bryson was batman, Abby a pirate, Garrett a muscled Spiderman, and Megan was a clown. I'll have you know, that there were many disturbing clown pictures when I tried to look and finally went for the least threatening one. Kinda made me wish Megan had been anything but a clown. Anyway. Hopefully we can recover our pictures later, but I'm not holding my breath.

We had dinner at Meemaw & Papa's (Travis' parents), and then they went racing around like hooligans to trick-or-treat before we left. We made a quick stop at my parents' to show off their cute costumes and pick up a treat--they give out full-size candy bars, yummm--then home to trick or treat a couple more times. Needless to say, we have enough candy to last us at least through the week. Garrett would crack us up cuz he would say "Trick 'n' Treat" and then Megan, who thinks she can talk but really can't, would say "Chee chee chee" in the same singsong voice. So we, the parental units of the darling children, got candy too. Wahoo! I love free candy day..I mean, Halloween.

In other news, I have been seriously pondering my decision with this whole election thing. Normally I have a pretty good idea of who I like but this year I find it more difficult. So I was very happy to see tonight's Presidential special to give it some defining moments and what have you. Yup, I'm talking about SNL's Presidential Bash. Tina Fey cracks me up. In fact, I think I'll just vote her in as president. Even if she sucked, at least it would be funny, right? Hmm..perhaps not. Regardless, I caught most of it, laughed, and then headed to Google to find out more info on the candidates so I could make a more educated vote tomorrow. Remember to VOTE!

Also, a question for my bazillion readers (note the sarcasm). I've been reading a lot in magazines and online about co-ops. I'm finding myself intrigued and thinking about joining one through Salt Lake, but since I am the pinnacle of indecision, I'm asking your thoughts. Are any of you involved in one? Do you like it? Is it worth the money? With times how they are, I'm constantly looking for ways to save money, build our food storage, and do things from home. For example, I'm making some of our Christmas gifts this year. I'd tell you what they are, and even post pics, but I have nosey children who like to read this blog (BRYSON & ABBY) so I can't until later. Or maybe start another blog. Hmm....maybe.... Anyway, I was interested in this whole co-op idea and so I'm tossing it out to you guys. Give me info. I need it. I'm a Libra and I can't make decisions without full disclosure, and even then it can be a toss-up. Help me!

Finally, as I read back through my blogs I notice that I use a lot of punctuation. And I truly suck at editing. And I go back and forth from ginormous sentences to tiny annoying sentences. Hello, what is wrong with this picture? I graduated with an English degree with an emphasis on technical writing/editing. Yup. Totally use it on my blog as it is well apparent. I also use terrible grammar. And lots of sarcasm. And I dangle participles with total disregard to said participles. In fact, I can't hardly remember what a participle is and have no idea if I'm even spelling them right let alone dangling the poor suckers. Please forgive my English blunders. I write like I talk, I guess (which totally sucks for those of you who have to listen to me), with lots of commas, parenthesis, dashes, and drama? Perhaps now would be a good time to shut up. :)

Deep Thought...by Garrett

Garrett: Mom, when I was in your tummy, I was brown.
Me: Why were you brown?
Garrett: Cuz you like chocolate.

Ah, from the mouths of babes.

Post-its, please?

Is it just me or do all moms wish that an instruction manual came with our kids? I would very happily give birth to a book for crying out loud if said book would tell me what to do with these little wonders! Yeah, yeah, labor and delivery is an amazing thing, you get a beautiful miracle at the end that makes it all worth it. Yup. Fell for that hook, line and sinker. And I believe it, honestly I do! My kids are more than worth all the pain (which I really didn't have with the middle kids cuz of those FABULOUS things called epidurals, but I digress...). I totally would have pushed an extra hour or so to get the instruction manual along with the baby. "What to Expect Your First Year" is only so helpful.

Today, for no reason other than maybe a brain fart or something, Bryson hits Garrett. Garrett wasn't bothering him, there was no altercation going. Just leans over a whacks him on the arm. I saw it. Then, Garrett starts getting upset and has the I'm-going-to-start-screaming-to-get-mom's-sympathy-and-get-Bryson-in-trouble look, when Abby (who had been playing on the computer) marches over to Bryson and bops him on the head. With her doll. Naturally Bryson is not going to take this so he starts to yell at Abby and pinches her arm. Garrett has stopped crying but apparently wants to join the fray a little more actively and yells at Abby as well and then pushes her. Bryson then turns and pushes Garrett. Abby starts bossing the boys around and they, almost like it was planned, both grab her shirt and pull her down. Megan is watching the entire thing and yells throughout. Suddenly there's a brawl in the middle of my livingroom. For no reason. Er, excuse me? Did the planets just align for the first time in a decade and children suddenly go berserk?

Obviously there is no rational explanation for this. This is when the instruction manual would be incredibly helpful. You know, something like...

1. Bryson. Chapter 117: When Bryson is 7 years and 10 3/4 months old, he will, without provocation, physically lash out at a younger sibling. This by no means is your fault as a mother and does in fact mean that he is low on Vitamin K. Please feed him some vegetables at dinner this evening. Punishment of any kind will not really help the situation, but it will make you feel better as a parent so go ahead and send him to his room until dinner.
2. Megan. Chapter 12: Megan is going to have several colds this summer that will not result in ear infections no matter what the symptoms look like, or how similar those symptoms are to to your older children who have had bazillions of ear infections. Do not take her in to the doctors and pay for their new SUV's and vacations with your copays. Just keep her home, give her plenty of love, and douse her with ibuprofen so she'll sleep at night.
3. Abby. Chapter 942: Teenagers suck. Moms are awesome. Get some chocolate, a book, and your 17 year old Abby will be home by 1am. If you ground her for a month she'll regret her decision and once again become your best friend.
4. Garrett. Chapter 63: While potty training your son he is going to ask you lots of embarrassing questions. Prepare yourself.

And if I can't get the instruction manual, occasional post-its, floating down from heaven, would also be greatly appreciated. If any of you pairs of eyes that are reading this have an "in" with the guy upstairs who sends these beloved children, I'd also love to be a couple of inches taller and thinner. Thanks.

Tagged...again

More tags. Two of them in fact. I try to escape, but I'm OCD about these things and have to do them. I feel jinxed if I don't. So here's to my longest post with no pics. Sorry. Our camera is currently ignoring us anyway, so we'll post some when he stops throwing a fit.

Tag #1
Heidi Tag:
10 Years Ago
1. I was newly married.
2. Lived in a small 70's decorated apartment in the "ghetto" of Logan.
3. Worked at Practice Management (billing for Doctor's)
4. Became LEGAL at 21. Oh yeah!
5. Wondered how long it would take for me to finish school so we could have kids.

5 Things on Today's "To Do" List
1. Ignore the mess in my kitchen.
2. Babysit Kierra (this is a new thing, I've been part-time babysitting a cute little 6 month old girl)
3. Work for my dad at HAFB
4. Start the laundry (which didn't happen)
5. Ignore my "To Do" list and hang out with Heidi!

5 Snacks I Adore:
1. Chocolate
2. Popcorn, either airpopped at home or at the theater with LOTS of butter.
3. Apple Pie
4. Chips & dip
5. Cheese & crackers

5 Things I'd do with a million dollars:
1. Sell our house and move
2. Renovate our new house (cuz I like older homes so we'd pry have to at least update or modernize)
3. Buy a new vehicle that is less than two years old instead of living with the piece that we have
4. Savings
5. Travel to visit all my family and friends who live farther away than I like (Melissa & Hailey in particular since they aren't within driving distance)

5 Jobs I've had in life:
1. ShopKo, Layton (I know...I'm awesome)
2. SPS Payment Systems, Layton
3. Cal-Ranch (once again, seriously cool)--this was only for a month but I feel cool putting it on here, makes me feel hick
4. Cache Valley ENT
5. Davis Hospital

5 People to Tag:
For once, I'm not tagging people. I just tagged everybody like two weeks ago so you are all off scott free unless you feel the need to join in!


Tag #2
Sarah's Tag of Eight:
8 Shows I love to watch
1. Heroes
2. House
3. CSI
4. Ace of Cakes
5. Jon & Kate Plus Eight
6. Biggest Loser
7. Gilmore Girls
8. American Idol

8 Favorite Restaurants:
1. Ruby Tuesday
2. Ruby River
3. Chilli's
4. Olive Garden
5. Star Cafe (for breakfast)
6. Flags West truck stop--homemade fries...yummmm
7. Cracker Barrel
8. Old Grist Mill (up in Cache Valley)

8 Things that Happened Yesterday:
1. Did not attempt murder
2. Did not rob a bank
3. Did not win a million dollars
4. Thought about murder when I took Megan to the doctor and he was an idiot (see previous post)
5. Wanted to rob a bank because our van is being stupid. Again.
6. Wished winning a million dollars or perhaps inheriting from some long lost relative we've never heard of was actually feasible so we could ditch the stupid van and get a newer one.
7. Thought about doing laundry.
8. Laughed until I almost peed my pants listening to my boys.

8 Things I'm looking forward to:
1. My kids getting out early on Friday so we can play
2. The weekend
3. All the upcoming holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years
4. Christmas shopping (I love it!)
5. Taking a bath while the kids are asleep so I don't see their fingers under the door and listening to them yell "Mom! What are you doing? Are you almost done? You're taking FOREVER."
6. Reading a new book
7. Sleep
8. Taking a vacation

8 Things I love about Fall:
1. The cooling weather
2. The leaves changing colors
3. pumpkins
4. Halloween & Thanksgiving
5. Actually wanting to do yard work since it isn't 100 degrees
6. Baking
7. Getting ready for Christmas
8. Birthday cake for ME

8 Things on my wish list:
1. More kids.... for my siblings & friends (hee hee...almost had you fooled there didn't I)
2. a trampoline for the kids
3. a new vehicle that isn't quite so moody
4. moving--I've got the bug
5. my husband to finish school so he can find a job he likes
6. a vacation
7. money saved in the bank
8. if I can't move, then I want to redecorate. :)

The NERVE

It's been one of those days. You know the kind I'm talking about. The type where you hang around in your pj's all day cuz you just don't feel like doing anything. Walking aimlessly from room to room, knowing you need to get in gear and clean up this hazard-waste place you call home, but not quite finding the motivation to do it. Having Garrett hanging on me being whiny, and having a very needy Megan because she has an ear infection. Not the fabulous beginnings for a weekday. And then I realize that Megan is COVERED in hives. Great. I call the doctor, explaining she has broken out in hives and I thinks it an allergic reaction to the amoxicillan she's on (same thing happened to me a couple of years ago). They say to bring her in right away...in three hours. And oh, don't give her anything cuz the doctor will want to see exactly what's happening. Nice.

So we eat and take an exhausted Meg in to the doctor. The pediatrician checks her out, saying things like "hmmm...yeah...looks like an allergy..." Ya think? Then he looks in her ears and tells me she doesn't have an ear infection and that the four days of antibiotics have done the trick. I explain, calmly, rationally, that she's only been on them for two days, and should we put her on something else to make sure it doesn't come back. He looks at me and says her infection is gone and her ears are just red so no need, and if they start bothering her I can come back in a few days and have them looked at again. Again, I calmly ask, "If I notice her ears bugging her again, can I just call in and have the new prescription called into Walgreens? We've already been here twice in three days." Mr. Macho Doctor then looks at me and says, "Well, I DO have a medical degree."

At this point all rational thought has left my mind. I'm tired, my kid's sick, and I'm just asking for pete's sake. The NERVE. I give him my "Feel free to take the fastest train straight to hell and while you're on it tell Satan I'd like him to kick your butt up around your freaking medical degree" look and start getting Megan dressed again. I'm so furious that I'm just shaking (and if you know me, you know that normally what comes next are tears but you'll be proud to note that I held back) and so thoroughly livid I just want to scream. Then, he pats me on the shoulder and says "Have a good afternoon" and walks out. What??!@#?@#$?

Needless to say, the only thing that saved this pediatrician's life was that his incredibly sweet nurse came in and said she was faxing my chart to our regular doctor who moved to their clinic in Roy and that I can just call in for a prescription if I need. But seriously, how dare he try to patronize me? Obviously this post is to blow of some steam...but come on. I'm a MOM. I don't need no stinkin' medical degree.

Boys

Bryson: Hey Mom
Me (typing on the computer): Yup?
Bryson: Sometimes, do you ever get like a bubble between your buttcheeks?
Me (stop typing): What?
Bryson: Yeah, like a bubble that is between your buttcheeks and then it pops, like pooff?
Me (laughing): WHAT? You mean like you're farting or something?
Bryson: Yup. Like the silent but deadly kind.
Me: unable to speak because I have convulsed into hysterical laughter
Garrett: Bryson?
Bryson: Do you do that Garrett?
Garrett: Nope. But my pee thing is bigger than yours.
Me: Running to the bathroom because I'm about to pee my pants.

thirty one

So I just wanted to give you a little heads up about being thirty-one for those of you who are not here yet. It doesn't sound that much older than the fabulous thirty I was already at--but beware. Suddenly forty looms so much closer. Wrinkles could magically show up and you know gray hair is soon to follow. I realize that I act about sixteen, and secretly I feel about twenty, but things are starting to sneak up on me that I don't really appreciate. Pregnancy pounds that won't go away are suddenly taking on more importance than before. Acne is suddenly realized as the most annoying thing ever since previously I thought it would magically disappear the day I was officially an adult...obviously this is not a correct assumption as I now have been married for ten years, have four children and a mortgage...pretty dang sure adulthood has been hanging around for a bit.

I'm getting laugh-lines around my eyes and those weird parenthesis around my mouth when I smile. The thought that I could very well be past the having babies stage fills me with elation...and a tiny itty bit of sorrow. (Mostly elation, but still, a little bit of sadness sneaks in.) I don't want to wax poetic here and drive everyone bonkers, but seriously, it just makes you think. Luckily, I have a husband that is a solid four years older than me (35!!) and that sounds waaayyyyy older than me. To be honest, I don't feel old at all...unless I have heartburn. Or migraines. Or my asthma is kicking in. Seriously. I'm young. Right?

You may think this won't happen to you...if that helps you sleep at night, then I wish you well. But just wait. That nasty little monster is going to sneak up on you sooner than later. One day, you wee little ones in your 20's, you too will find yourself on the cusp of old.

The evil laughter you hear in the distance? That's me...welcoming you to the club!

Creepy, crawly Spider

Ewww.....I brought the kids home from school today, and found a lovely black widow spider making a web near our doorway. You can't see the red marks from the picture--maybe I'm being dillusional (it happens) and it was a regular old spider--but I don't think so. Bryson agreed, it totally looked like a black widow. I tried to kill it with a shoe, but then it jumped (??) to the other side so fast it totally freaked me and the kids right out. Abandoning the idea for a minute, I called Heidi for moral support cuz I'm a chicken. Let's be honest here, I don't deal well with spiders. Better than my high school chum Rachelle (that girl would be in the next county before you could blink if she saw a spider), but they still completely creep me out. Of course I couldn't concentrate on anything else until the spider was gone....I kept imagining it crawling into my house while we were sleeping. Shudder.

Abby and I decided I should wear my boots (cuz they're tougher to bite through in case the spider decided to get vicious), and arm myself with the broom and bugspray (that is actually for wasps not spiders, but at least it might stun it was our thinking). The boys thought it'd be cool if I took a picture. SO, I went outside, armed, took a picture from about 5 feet away and used the fabulous zoom in feature to take a quick photo. I think she even smiled after the kids yelled "CHEESE" from the doorway (they thought it was cool but didn't want to be within striking range). Then I smashed her with a broom onto the step and smashed it with my shoe before she could escape.

Seriously....ewwww.

Tag, You're IT!

It's who I am.

I Am....Jen.

I Want...my bills to be magically paid by themselves.

I Have...a wonderful family.

I Wish....money really did grow on trees.

I Hate...people who think they know how to drive but really don't.

I Fear...something bad happening to my kids.

I Hear...the Food Network show "Unwrapped".

I Search...for new books to read.

I Always...go barefoot in my house.

I Usually...take a shower. (just making sure you're really reading this)

I Am Not...very tall or very patient.

I Miss...my sister Melissa, and my friends Mary Ann & Hailey. They all live too far away.

I Love...my hubby Travis & our fabulous little rugrats.

I Never...pick my nose and eat it, cuz that'd be gross.

I Rarely...take out the trash (Travis almost always does).

I Cry...any time my emotions are extreme: happy, sad, or angry.

I am Not Always...the best mom I could be but I try every day.

I Lose...my shoes all the time.

I'm Confused...early in the morning when I haven't had enough sleep.

I Need...a hug whenever I can get them.

I Should...go to bed but my brain won't shut up!

I Dream...almost every night and usually remember them.

I would like to Tag: Pretty much everybody, but specifically Mani, Heidi, Nicole, Holly, Penny and Kelly & Jaimee. You know you want to!! Remember, I am your regular blogger stalker so just do it or you'll start to get annoying messages from me (and we all know that is not an idle threat).

Embarassing Moments

Have you ever had one of those moments when you just want to crawl into a hole and die? Jump in front of train? Sleep for 40 years until no one remembers what happened? I don't have too many of these (thank heavens) but the ones I do have, are all thanks to my oldest child Bryson. It's been long enough now that they don't embarass me too much now, I mostly just think they are funny. And, in order to embarass my child, I thought it'd be fun to share. Feel free to share on your own blog or in comments your own fun and embarrasing moments.

#1: While pregnant with Abby, Travis and I were remodeling our bedroom. We went to Home Depot to pick up supplies and were standing there looking at crown molding when I noticed another couple come down the aisle. The husband was heavier-set, and two-year-old Bryson took one look at him, walked over, patted this complete stranger (who was quite gruff looking) on the belly and questions, "Baby??" Needless to say, the wife started to convulse into giggles while Travis, Bryson and I quickly left.

#2: Standing in line at Walmart can feel like hours but this time I was entertained. This gentleman in front of me was only buying a jar of pickles (I think...), when the jar slipped and crashed to the floor. He swore under his breath as he bent over to start picking things up. Bryson walks over to him, sticks out his hand and says, "You said a bad word. You owe me a quarter." Luckily he was a nice guy who didn't take offense and instead laughed and told Bryson he didn't know that was the rule and would make sure to bring a quarter next time. Whew!

#3: This is my all-time favorite Bryson story. When Abby was only a couple of months old, we were sitting in one of the long middle benches in Sacrament meeting at church. The sacrament was being passed and Bryson was trying to show Abby pictures of a book while she was sitting in her infant carseat. Suddenly, the book slipped and fell to the ground. In a completely normal-volumed voice, Bryson says "Shit!" (Sorry to those of you with sensitive eyes...I was going to edit, but he didn't, so I'm not either...besides it was just so funny) The bench we are sitting on and the one in front of us starts to shake as people are trying not laugh out loud.
Appalled I lean over, grab the book, and whisper to Bryson, "Bryson, we don't say those kinds of words!" Again, in a normal 2 year old voice, "YOU do, Mom." By now, most of the middle section surrounding us is shaking, we have heard a few muffled snickers, and the bishopric is giving us weird looks wondering what the heavens is going on.
With my face about as red as a circus clown's nose (wasn't that a nice analogy?) I whisper again "Well, she doesn't anymore!" Thinking that the situation was under control and over, I sit back. Bryson obviously disagrees and leans over to me and says, louder this time, "We'll talk about it at home."
Two-year-olds are awesome.

Skeeter Killer

With my lethal weapon in one hand, and my other hand outstretched, ready to grab in a possible escape, I sneak up on my prey. Quietly she rests on my wall...perhaps anticipating my every move. She doesn't realize that I'll never give up until I am rid of her and every one of her family that is hiding and residing in my home. Squatters. Thieves of the night. Bloodsuckers. Closer and closer I sneak, trying to move slowly so as not to startle the blood-sucking flyer, yet wanting to hurry before she lifts off again. Too many escapes have occured with later wounds resulting. Too many times have these devilish creatures been victorious while my family and I have suffered at their expense. Enough is enough! I vow to challenge and conquer this time and rid ourselves of the legions that have taken over our home. Finally, I make the split-second decision to strike. SMACK!! Ah ha! She has been terminated, crushed! But alas, while I was hunting, I was also being stalked, and have yet another...skeeter bite. CURSES!!

Kid Chats/Ego Destroyers

Garrett: Is today Tuesday?
Me: Yes
Garrett: Oh, I don't have powers on Tuesday.
Me: What? What kind of powers?
Garrett: Powers powers. I don't have powers on Tuesday.
Me: Oh, well I don't have powers on Monday.
Garrett: Mom, you don't never have powers.

Me: Abby, that shirt looks cute for school.
Abby: Do you like it?
Me: Yes, you look awesome.
Abby: Oh. Maybe I'll go change my shirt.

After a crazy day last week, I decided to just make hot dogs and mac 'n cheese for dinner per the kids' request. However, the water boiled over making a big mess and then the plastic container the hot dogs were in melted in the microwave.
Bryson: Mom! What happened?
Me (very very frazzled and trying not to scream): I'm trying to make dinner! Just a second!
Bryson: Maybe you should learn how to cook.

So it begins...

Here is Megan--with her spectacular hair--playing with her daddy's Sidekick phone, obviously texting her BFF, lol. Do y'all text? I text Travis cuz really, do I need to explain? But we don't do much of the cool shortcuts or whatever they're called (I'm so sounding old)...no BFF4EVR or SUIT (Shut up I'm thinking), actually, I totally just made that one up but doesn't it sound real? It pry is real and I have no idea. Well, needless to say, Meg's getting a headstart, so I guess for her 2nd birthday we'll have to buy her a cellphone to keep up with the crowd. TFA (totally freakin' awesome)

Wahoo!!

WAHOOO!!!

Finally Fall is here and we can start watching some real tv! Perhaps you thought from the title something infinitely more cool was going on, but in reality, what could be more cool than not having to watch reruns?? For those of you who do not know, my husband goes to night school right after getting off work, so I generally play "single mom" during the week. TV has become my obsession, my lifesaver, the one thing that keeps me from going crazy while he's gone from 6am until 9:30pm every stinking weekday except Friday, which is when I work so I still don't see him until later. Needless to say, I have read way too many books this summer and I'm ready for some TV!

Now you all know where to find me every night: Monday--Heroes; Tuesday--House, Law & Order SVU and sometimes Biggest Loser is I want to eat lots of chocolate while watching others loose weight; Wednesday--Criminal Minds, CSI: NY; Thursday--CSI, ER, sometimes the Office; Friday--I don't get to watch tv on Friday usually so I pretend that this day doesn't exist in my personal tv guide. Feel free to call or email, but preferably during commercials. :) Unless it's to discuss the show being watched.

Let the Fall TV begin!!

Hurts

My friend Carrie's dad died and had his funeral on Saturday.

The funeral was beautiful, but at the same time, it's just awful. I have been friends with Carrie since we moved across the street from her family way back when I was in 5th grade. Her mom is a very bubbly woman who is just geniunely sweet to everyone, and her dad, although more regimented, was always very kind to me. He used to just intimidate the crap out of me until I made him laugh one time by accident, just being my dorky self, and then it made it much easier to chat and laugh with him. He called me "Shadow" a lot because I'd follow Carrie around everywhere. I haven't seen him in years although I still keep in contact with Carrie of course, and the circumstances around his death are sad ones--he was battling alcoholism and I think depression as well. Unfortunately, he couldn't seem to find a way out and so took his own life.


My heart hurts.

Megan's 1st Birthday

I can't believe it was Megan's 1st birthday on Saturday. Holy cow, time goes way too fast. She's been doing everything early this year--crawling at 6 months, walking at 10 months, climbing up on chairs, opening doors, basically attempting to do whatever the big kids do. Luckily her birthday was right on time or mom would have had a meltdown. :)

We took tons of pictures for her birthday, but here are just a few of my favorites.

Meg wasn't really impressed with the party hat, but we just had to get one picutre.

Megan would get one toy and was happy to just play with that one. She didn't need anymore! Luckily, as you can see with Abby in the background, the rest of the kids were more than willing to help her out by playing with her new stuff.

Just chillin' in between presents with dad.

This is the before picture--pre-eating frenzy. Notice that we are bad parents and lit the candle for her to blow out. All she wanted to do was stare at it.

The after picture--obviously, the post-eating frenzy.

Collage of Me

I saw this on a friend's blog, it's late and looked entertaining so I'm trying it out on mine. :) Here's how it works: Go to google images and type in your answers to these questions. Use one of the images from the first page. Then post the images as your answers.

Favorite Vegetable:

Favorite Fruit:

Favorite Actor:

Favorite thing to do:

Favorite Car :

(note: my favorite car would be a new car, so insert pretty much anything here)

First Job:

Favorite Restaurant (today anyway):

Where I was born:

Where I live:

My favorite place:

My Favorite Animal:

My favorite food:

My favorite color:

My favorite bad habit:

My first name:

My middle name:

My Last name:

My Age:

Place I would like to visit:

First Day of School!!

Monday was the first day of school! YAY!! Bryson started 2nd grade and Abby in kindergarten.






I know that many parents have a difficult time with their kids starting school in the fall, and find it to be a slightly bittersweet experience. I am not one of those moms. Wanna know the song running through my head after dropping them off at school (especially since they were so excited and no one cried, not even Abby who was incredibly nervous)--it was "Freedom" by WHAM! Yup..."Freedom....freedom..." just the chorus, not the whole song. Or the song by Tom Petty "And I'm FREE!" (again, just the one line, the entire song does not apply).


I prefer to believe that the reason I am so excited for them to go back to school is because I loved school clear up until college (after starting college, eh, then not so much). Honestly though? I can't hardly wait to only have two kids with me so I can get some stuff done! Do you know how hard it is to go shopping with four kids? Especially with the oldest one not happy to be there and constantly scaring the younger kids, hiding from me, and trying to get the others to play tag in the middle of the grocery store or Walmart? Augh. And don't get me started on running errands or just plain trying to keep my livingroom from looking like a tornado has hit 100 times in the last 30 minutes. I love my kids, and when school's out for holidays and summer, I am just as excited to have them home as I was for them to start school. But for right now? I'm totally going to just relax in the blissful semi-quiet.....until 3:25pm that is. :c)

Fall Fashion Show EXTRAVAGANZA!

Abby is five. Abby is a girl. Abby LOOOOOOOOVES girly-girl stuff and constantly tries to get her brothers to do girly stuff too. It doesn't usually work on Bryson, but Garrett is a very willing kid to play house, barbies, tea party, whatever. Sunday we were going through their closets and getting things ready for school and Abby decided that a fashion show was the way to go. And not just any fashion show, a FALL fashion show EXTRAVAGANZA! Somewhere she has seen or heard a fashion show, so she made me be the "'nouncer and explain about the fabulous outfits" and have them model.

She even managed to get Bryson to participate which is not even remotely usual. (Bryson is a BOY...a boy who does boy stuff...not a boy who does girl stuff...cuz that would not be cool for a boy--direct quote from Bryson)

Bryson had no desire to model other than walk in front of the tv which had a "fall" blanket covering the screen for the background, and Garrett wanted to pose as Ben 10 monster/alien things. Needless to say, it was highly entertaining.

Here are the boys trying to be "GQ" after being prompted by dad. Garrett's picture in particular totally cracks me up--he's such a goofy guy. And finally, Abby in her fabulous model pose.