Have you ever had one of those moments when you just want to crawl into a hole and die? Jump in front of train? Sleep for 40 years until no one remembers what happened? I don't have too many of these (thank heavens) but the ones I do have, are all thanks to my oldest child Bryson. It's been long enough now that they don't embarass me too much now, I mostly just think they are funny. And, in order to embarass my child, I thought it'd be fun to share. Feel free to share on your own blog or in comments your own fun and embarrasing moments.
#1: While pregnant with Abby, Travis and I were remodeling our bedroom. We went to Home Depot to pick up supplies and were standing there looking at crown molding when I noticed another couple come down the aisle. The husband was heavier-set, and two-year-old Bryson took one look at him, walked over, patted this complete stranger (who was quite gruff looking) on the belly and questions, "Baby??" Needless to say, the wife started to convulse into giggles while Travis, Bryson and I quickly left.
#2: Standing in line at Walmart can feel like hours but this time I was entertained. This gentleman in front of me was only buying a jar of pickles (I think...), when the jar slipped and crashed to the floor. He swore under his breath as he bent over to start picking things up. Bryson walks over to him, sticks out his hand and says, "You said a bad word. You owe me a quarter." Luckily he was a nice guy who didn't take offense and instead laughed and told Bryson he didn't know that was the rule and would make sure to bring a quarter next time. Whew!
#3: This is my all-time favorite Bryson story. When Abby was only a couple of months old, we were sitting in one of the long middle benches in Sacrament meeting at church. The sacrament was being passed and Bryson was trying to show Abby pictures of a book while she was sitting in her infant carseat. Suddenly, the book slipped and fell to the ground. In a completely normal-volumed voice, Bryson says "Shit!" (Sorry to those of you with sensitive eyes...I was going to edit, but he didn't, so I'm not either...besides it was just so funny) The bench we are sitting on and the one in front of us starts to shake as people are trying not laugh out loud.
Appalled I lean over, grab the book, and whisper to Bryson, "Bryson, we don't say those kinds of words!" Again, in a normal 2 year old voice, "YOU do, Mom." By now, most of the middle section surrounding us is shaking, we have heard a few muffled snickers, and the bishopric is giving us weird looks wondering what the heavens is going on.
With my face about as red as a circus clown's nose (wasn't that a nice analogy?) I whisper again "Well, she doesn't anymore!" Thinking that the situation was under control and over, I sit back. Bryson obviously disagrees and leans over to me and says, louder this time, "We'll talk about it at home."
Two-year-olds are awesome.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
This is hilarious!! What a kid. I am glad you wrote these down so you won't forget them...not that you could!
You are on a posting frenzy! I love the embarrassing moments. I should have kept a log, so when my kids grow up they will know they deserve every embarrassing thing their kids say.
I love the sacrament meeting one! So hilarious. Once, my mom and I pulled into Sam's club and their was this man working on the roof. Kaitlyn was 3. She shook her head and said, "What in the hell is he doing on the roof?" I sat stunned, while my mom just starred at me. At least it was just my mom and not the entire center row of the chapel.
I hadn't heard the one about the Bryson patting the guys tummy. That was awesome. You have some clasic stories and I glad you jotted them down. I should, but can't really think of any. Help me out. I just thought a funny one from Tyler and his non-stinky fingers. I will have to tell you it.
Jen, I love hearing these stories, kids are great aren't they? Let's just hope that other people have a good sense of humor too right!?! And I am seriously still laughing at your post about Megan texting where you said, "I text Travis cuz really, do I have to explain?" Oh Jen you are hilarious!!! I don't know why but I still laugh every time I think of it, it was so funny to read!!! Hey, and I like your tag answers too, very lovely!
Post a Comment