Embarassing Moments

Have you ever had one of those moments when you just want to crawl into a hole and die? Jump in front of train? Sleep for 40 years until no one remembers what happened? I don't have too many of these (thank heavens) but the ones I do have, are all thanks to my oldest child Bryson. It's been long enough now that they don't embarass me too much now, I mostly just think they are funny. And, in order to embarass my child, I thought it'd be fun to share. Feel free to share on your own blog or in comments your own fun and embarrasing moments.

#1: While pregnant with Abby, Travis and I were remodeling our bedroom. We went to Home Depot to pick up supplies and were standing there looking at crown molding when I noticed another couple come down the aisle. The husband was heavier-set, and two-year-old Bryson took one look at him, walked over, patted this complete stranger (who was quite gruff looking) on the belly and questions, "Baby??" Needless to say, the wife started to convulse into giggles while Travis, Bryson and I quickly left.

#2: Standing in line at Walmart can feel like hours but this time I was entertained. This gentleman in front of me was only buying a jar of pickles (I think...), when the jar slipped and crashed to the floor. He swore under his breath as he bent over to start picking things up. Bryson walks over to him, sticks out his hand and says, "You said a bad word. You owe me a quarter." Luckily he was a nice guy who didn't take offense and instead laughed and told Bryson he didn't know that was the rule and would make sure to bring a quarter next time. Whew!

#3: This is my all-time favorite Bryson story. When Abby was only a couple of months old, we were sitting in one of the long middle benches in Sacrament meeting at church. The sacrament was being passed and Bryson was trying to show Abby pictures of a book while she was sitting in her infant carseat. Suddenly, the book slipped and fell to the ground. In a completely normal-volumed voice, Bryson says "Shit!" (Sorry to those of you with sensitive eyes...I was going to edit, but he didn't, so I'm not either...besides it was just so funny) The bench we are sitting on and the one in front of us starts to shake as people are trying not laugh out loud.
Appalled I lean over, grab the book, and whisper to Bryson, "Bryson, we don't say those kinds of words!" Again, in a normal 2 year old voice, "YOU do, Mom." By now, most of the middle section surrounding us is shaking, we have heard a few muffled snickers, and the bishopric is giving us weird looks wondering what the heavens is going on.
With my face about as red as a circus clown's nose (wasn't that a nice analogy?) I whisper again "Well, she doesn't anymore!" Thinking that the situation was under control and over, I sit back. Bryson obviously disagrees and leans over to me and says, louder this time, "We'll talk about it at home."
Two-year-olds are awesome.

Skeeter Killer

With my lethal weapon in one hand, and my other hand outstretched, ready to grab in a possible escape, I sneak up on my prey. Quietly she rests on my wall...perhaps anticipating my every move. She doesn't realize that I'll never give up until I am rid of her and every one of her family that is hiding and residing in my home. Squatters. Thieves of the night. Bloodsuckers. Closer and closer I sneak, trying to move slowly so as not to startle the blood-sucking flyer, yet wanting to hurry before she lifts off again. Too many escapes have occured with later wounds resulting. Too many times have these devilish creatures been victorious while my family and I have suffered at their expense. Enough is enough! I vow to challenge and conquer this time and rid ourselves of the legions that have taken over our home. Finally, I make the split-second decision to strike. SMACK!! Ah ha! She has been terminated, crushed! But alas, while I was hunting, I was also being stalked, and have yet another...skeeter bite. CURSES!!

Kid Chats/Ego Destroyers

Garrett: Is today Tuesday?
Me: Yes
Garrett: Oh, I don't have powers on Tuesday.
Me: What? What kind of powers?
Garrett: Powers powers. I don't have powers on Tuesday.
Me: Oh, well I don't have powers on Monday.
Garrett: Mom, you don't never have powers.

Me: Abby, that shirt looks cute for school.
Abby: Do you like it?
Me: Yes, you look awesome.
Abby: Oh. Maybe I'll go change my shirt.

After a crazy day last week, I decided to just make hot dogs and mac 'n cheese for dinner per the kids' request. However, the water boiled over making a big mess and then the plastic container the hot dogs were in melted in the microwave.
Bryson: Mom! What happened?
Me (very very frazzled and trying not to scream): I'm trying to make dinner! Just a second!
Bryson: Maybe you should learn how to cook.

So it begins...

Here is Megan--with her spectacular hair--playing with her daddy's Sidekick phone, obviously texting her BFF, lol. Do y'all text? I text Travis cuz really, do I need to explain? But we don't do much of the cool shortcuts or whatever they're called (I'm so sounding old)...no BFF4EVR or SUIT (Shut up I'm thinking), actually, I totally just made that one up but doesn't it sound real? It pry is real and I have no idea. Well, needless to say, Meg's getting a headstart, so I guess for her 2nd birthday we'll have to buy her a cellphone to keep up with the crowd. TFA (totally freakin' awesome)

Wahoo!!

WAHOOO!!!

Finally Fall is here and we can start watching some real tv! Perhaps you thought from the title something infinitely more cool was going on, but in reality, what could be more cool than not having to watch reruns?? For those of you who do not know, my husband goes to night school right after getting off work, so I generally play "single mom" during the week. TV has become my obsession, my lifesaver, the one thing that keeps me from going crazy while he's gone from 6am until 9:30pm every stinking weekday except Friday, which is when I work so I still don't see him until later. Needless to say, I have read way too many books this summer and I'm ready for some TV!

Now you all know where to find me every night: Monday--Heroes; Tuesday--House, Law & Order SVU and sometimes Biggest Loser is I want to eat lots of chocolate while watching others loose weight; Wednesday--Criminal Minds, CSI: NY; Thursday--CSI, ER, sometimes the Office; Friday--I don't get to watch tv on Friday usually so I pretend that this day doesn't exist in my personal tv guide. Feel free to call or email, but preferably during commercials. :) Unless it's to discuss the show being watched.

Let the Fall TV begin!!

Hurts

My friend Carrie's dad died and had his funeral on Saturday.

The funeral was beautiful, but at the same time, it's just awful. I have been friends with Carrie since we moved across the street from her family way back when I was in 5th grade. Her mom is a very bubbly woman who is just geniunely sweet to everyone, and her dad, although more regimented, was always very kind to me. He used to just intimidate the crap out of me until I made him laugh one time by accident, just being my dorky self, and then it made it much easier to chat and laugh with him. He called me "Shadow" a lot because I'd follow Carrie around everywhere. I haven't seen him in years although I still keep in contact with Carrie of course, and the circumstances around his death are sad ones--he was battling alcoholism and I think depression as well. Unfortunately, he couldn't seem to find a way out and so took his own life.


My heart hurts.

Megan's 1st Birthday

I can't believe it was Megan's 1st birthday on Saturday. Holy cow, time goes way too fast. She's been doing everything early this year--crawling at 6 months, walking at 10 months, climbing up on chairs, opening doors, basically attempting to do whatever the big kids do. Luckily her birthday was right on time or mom would have had a meltdown. :)

We took tons of pictures for her birthday, but here are just a few of my favorites.

Meg wasn't really impressed with the party hat, but we just had to get one picutre.

Megan would get one toy and was happy to just play with that one. She didn't need anymore! Luckily, as you can see with Abby in the background, the rest of the kids were more than willing to help her out by playing with her new stuff.

Just chillin' in between presents with dad.

This is the before picture--pre-eating frenzy. Notice that we are bad parents and lit the candle for her to blow out. All she wanted to do was stare at it.

The after picture--obviously, the post-eating frenzy.