Thursday, October 8, 2009

Evil

I was hiding from my son today. In the kitchen. And not hiding exactly, just not answering when he was calling for me while I was clearing the table after dinner, which is really more like pretending to be invisible and not hiding at all. Anyway, Bryson comes around the corner and says, "There you are! Why didn't you answer when I called for you?" I smirked, and just as I was about to respond...

Abby says, "Cuz she's evil."

You better believe it.
Mwa ha ha ha!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Mating

Yup. Read that title again cuz that's what we are talking about tonight people, MATING.

Apparently, my dear sweet husband informed Bryson that he could always watch the Discovery Channel. Educational, thought-provoking, science-oriented. And while yes, I could see how this thought process might work--if it was Discovery KIDS Channel--I am a tad disturbed that this wasn't discussed with me prior to the following conversation. At leat then I would have been prepared. Sigh. Can you see what is coming?? Can you feel the dread that still sinks into my chest even while typing this? Ayiyiyi...

Bryson: Mom. Did you know that tree frogs mate?

Me: Yep (keep it short, sweet and hopefully he'll leave....)

Bryson: Do you know what mating is?

Me: Yep (go away...go away)

Bryson: That's how they get babies, huh.

Me: (cornered in the hall by my 8 year old child) That's right. Where did you learn this?

Bryson: The Discovery Channel. Dad said I can watch it.

Me: Great.

Bryson: Do people mate?

Me: ummm...yep

Bryson: To get babies?

Me: Uh huh.

Bryson: Hmm...do people mate the same way that tree frogs do?

Me: (What the heck?! How am I supposed to answer this? Think...no, RUN! RUN AWAY!)
Well... (don't say it..walk away, walk away)
How do tree frogs mate? (IDIOT)

Bryson: On top of each other.

Me: (choking) Hmm. Well. Uh, Bryson this is one of those adult things that you don't need to learn about quite yet.

Bryson: But I want to know.

Me: Yeah, but you can't because you are only eight. Remember how Megan wants to read books but she can't read them yet cuz she doesn't know her letters and stuff? She has to wait until she gets bigger and learns other things first. When you get bigger then you can learn this other kind of stuff too. (What a nice motherly moment for me, I feel like that swelling music from TV should start playing...)

Bryson: Ok. I'll just ask Dad later.

Me: Great.